Boring Sex: How To Spice Things Up

Don’t Let Your Sex Life Become a Routine!

Boring Sex - Keep your sex life interesting

Every couple reaches a point in their LoveTrip where their sex life starts to run out of gas. Boring sex is a completely natural evolution of a relationship.

That initial excitement and hot passion has cooled off. You’ve probably seen each other naked thousands of times.

You’re likely living together, and there is no need to sneak off and have sex like teenagers anymore.

You’ll have dinner, watch some Netflix, head to bed, have a quicky, roll over and pass out.

You’ll have sex once, maybe twice in a week if you’re feeling extra frisky. The routine is always the same when you do.

Not doing anything to get past this hump can leave you feeling more like friends then lovers.

The honeymoon phase is over, it’s time to get creative with your sex life and really have some fun! Here are some of the techniques we’ve used to keep our sex drives revved up.

Planning an Intimate Date Night

An intimate date is the perfect lead up to a sexy evening. Planning sex should not be looked at negatively as it can actually increase the excitement in your sex life because you have to think of sexy things to do, allowing you to get creative.

We wrote a Couples Challenge to help you plan an intimate date night. Be sure to go check that out!

Think outside the box

Going to a movie doesn’t really create an intimate atmosphere. Try something a little more personal and sexy like a picnic on your living room floor or going to see a burlesque show. Take turns planning different dates to keep things fun and spontaneous.

We came up with 35 Creative Date Ideas to help you plan a sexy date night.

Go that extra step to look good

Get dressed in something a little fancy, get a haircut, and shave (don’t forget to take care of your nether regions too). The sexier you look, the sexier you’ll feel, then the sexier you’ll sex!

If dinner is part of the plans, don’t eat a 7 course meal

If you need to unbuckle your belt at the end of the meal you’re probably not going to be in the mood to be bouncing around later.

Chris
I love to cook. My favorite kind of date nights are when Katie and I stay home, cook ourselves a nice meal, open a bottle of red wine, and enjoy our night together at home. We’ll still take the time to get dressed up for each other, this is a date after all. A little tip for the boys, an easy and sexy meal to make for your lady is a nice cheese and meat plate, finished off with some fresh fruits and whip cream for dessert. It’s a great sexy meal you can enjoy throughout the night during pauses in the action.

Make sure there are no chances for distractions or interruptions

Even if you’re just planning on staying home tell your friends and family you’re going away for the weekend, and you won’t have cell reception. You don’t want to spend all day building up your excitement for it to be ruined by a visit from your grandma.

 Sex Vacation – Doing it Somewhere New

Sometimes it’s not the sex that gets boring but the place you’re doing it. It can make sex start to feel mundane. Maybe your sex life needs a change of scenery.

Start off by moving around the house

Couches are comfy, kitchen tables are sturdy, and a hot shower is a great place for some steamy action. Bet no one has had sex in your hallway closet yet?

Get yourself a nice hotel room

Go a step further and get a sexy themed hotel room that has a hot tub, a stripper pole, and mirrors on the ceiling. Let loose and go to town, let housekeeping worry about the mess in the morning.

Take a full sexcation

Book a secluded cabin getaway for the weekend, and don’t bring any distractions like movies, video games, or books. If you want to give your equipment a little break take the afternoon to hit the spa and get a massage, or go for a short hike. Make sure to pack lots of lube.

It’s just you and your partner

Make everything you do is about being together, no matter the location. Remove any distractions and focus on each other. Stop and share a kiss, whisper something sexy in each other’s ears, and enjoy the moment. It’s not the place that’s sexy, it’s YOU that makes the place sexy.

Withholding Sex – Create Anticipation To Prevent Boring Sex

It seems counter intuitive to stop having sex when you’re already bored with sex, but trust us when we say that its effective.

If someone tells you that you aren’t allowed to have any chocolate, suddenly it’s on your mind all the time. The moment you get that chocolate bar in your hands it will be devoured.

Forbidding sex from each other is going to make you want it so bad it hurts!

Set a date a few days in the future for having sex

Set restrictions for each other like no kissing, no touching, or no masturbating, and then set time limits to when you will be allowed to do it again.

Create a penalty if someone breaks the rules

For example, you have to give your partner a foot massage, buy them ice cream, or do the dishes. Soon you’ll find yourselves torturing each other even more to see who will snap first.

Katie
A fun way Chris and I up the ante is by really teasing each other during this time. I’ll send him sexy photos, text messages, or give him a little rub in passing, knowing full well it won’t go any further. In normal circumstances I sometimes avoid acting sexual or being too touchy feely if I think it will lead to sex because I don’t want to commit to a full evening of intimacy. This game gives me the freedom to act sexually without feeling obligated to do more. In the end, I have created so much electricity between us that I am usually the one to break the rules first.

Chris
As a result of this challenge, and being a man, the urge to masturbate is really strong. But then I would just end up wasting that sexual energy I’m trying to build up. Part of the challenge is abstaining from jerking off as well. When the time for sex finally does come it’s explosive. Puns fully intended!

Sex is lots of fun, and despite that it can still feel boring. Our familiarity with our partner leads to a routine, which leads to a mundane experience in bed.

The thought of, “we must have sex now” can make sex feel more like work than fun.

Try taking the sex out of your intimate time together. Remove the pressure to perform and just be in the moment.

Check out this great article from psychology today all about sex without intercourse.

Have a cuddle session

Put on some music, get naked under the covers, and just cuddle. Enjoy being in each other’s arms, feel each other’s curves, the smells of your partner, and just stare into each other’s eyes.

More often than not it’ll lead to sex, or you might fall asleep in each other’s arms. And that’s OK.

Katie
Chris and I often trade massages after a long day or a tough workout. He will give me a great back or foot massage and I will give him a nice thigh massage with a happy ending. Some day’s it is the other way around. We both feel satisfied and relaxed.

It is not the end of the world if only one partner orgasms

The need to orgasm can create a lot of pressure on both partners. It’s ok if only one of you, or neither, has an orgasm.

All people are not created equal. It might take you 30 seconds or 30 minutes to reach orgasm. That pressure to orgasm will have you falling into your familiar routine again.

Have a really quick quickie. Get the blood pumping, and then stop. Let that sexual tension build up for another night.

Chris
It takes a lot of work for me to orgasm. I’ve come (pun intended) to accept that about my body and not let it hinder our fun together. I’m ok with having sex, getting Katie to reach her orgasm, and stopping there when I know I’m not going to cum. When I approach sex this way it takes a lot of the “performance anxiety” out of the situation.

There are lots of sexy options, that don’t need sex

Sex doesn’t have to be just about penetration. There are more ways to get each other off than you can imagine.

Oral sex, hand jobs, sexual massages, mutual masturbation, and sex toys. You have all these tools in your arsenal for getting each other off.

Let the tension build

Taking the time to just be intimate with each other, without the intention of sex, can be considered long term foreplay.

Going Digital

In today’s world where everyone is face down in their cell phones and computers, we need to learn to incorporate sex and intimacy into our ever increasingly digitized lives.

Use technology and your time apart to build up the sexual tension for when you get home. You’ll be so turned on by the time you walk in the door that your clothes will come flying right off.

Remember that the internet can be an unsafe place and privacy is important so do these activities with a partner you trust. Check out these awesome apps for couples to help you stay connected.

Sexy text message or emails

Sending each other messages throughout the day can build sexual tension that has to be released when you get home.

Send pictures or SnapChat’s

Describe what you plan on doing to your partner or what you want them to do to you when you’re finally face to face.

Send your partner a sexy message when they’re not expecting it

Like when they are at work. Make sure they have a little warning so they don’t open those emails during a presentation!

Chris
I’ll never forget one of the sexiest things Katie has done for me. She called me out of the blue, while I was at work, to talk dirty to me. I was in the middle of a pretty important meeting when it happened and it was really difficult to concentrate for the rest of the day. The only thing on my mind was getting home to her and getting naked!

Webcamming can be a great way to turn each other on from a distance

Give your partner a sexy dance or show them where you want them to touch you next time you are together. If you’re lucky they will cut their trip short and rush home to you!

Taking Charge – Surprise Sex

Planning surprise sex sounds like an oxymoron, but really it’s a sexymoron. Sometimes someone just needs to take charge of the situation and take off their pants!

Timing is critical for surprise sex

If you know your partner had a really long day, or they might have an early morning planned maybe tonight isn’t the best night. It’s important to remember that surprise sex should be fun and consensual on both sides.

Katie
I will admit that I am, more often than not, the one who overlooks having sex. I can go a week without even thinking about it or being interested in it. This can sometimes leave Chris feeling a little forgotten. When I realize that I’ve been neglectful and I am in the mood to get frisky myself, I like to give him a little surprise. Putting on some sexy lingerie under my housecoat after a shower or jumping on him after a day at work. He appreciates my forwardness and it usually gets me in the mood because I am taking charge of the situation.

Chris
Coming home from a long day at work to Katie wearing some lingerie will get the juices flowing better than taking Cialis and washing it down with a pot of coffee. It’s a little trickier for a man to do the sexy lingerie thing, but surprising your lady with candles, dinner, and flowers can get her hot quickly. You can try waiting for her on the couch wearing only a banana hammock, but it probably won’t have the right effect.

Accessorizing – Sex Toys and Outfits

Everyone has different feelings about the use of sex toys and outfits during sex. There is no wrong way here as long as both partners are comfortable.

It can be as simple as a strawberry or as kinky as a whip. Any sexual aid can help turn boring sex into wild night of passion

Using sex toys is a great way to spice up your sex life

If you are a shy couple just the act of shopping for sex toys can be a big turn on even if you leave the store empty handed.

When we first  started looking at sex toys, we shopped online together. Laughing at the toys we thought were ridiculous and talking about the ones that intrigued us. Not only did we get turned on by this, but we learned a lot about our sexual preferences.

Sex toys are nothing to be scared of, and can be lots of fun!

If it’s your first time, the staff at the sex shop are usually very friendly and helpful. You don’t need to get something very elaborate like the VIBRA 3000 DELUXE, a simple little vibrator, cock ring, or some massage oil can put your sex drive into high gear.

Outfits – excite your partner and feel sexy

An outfit does not need to be revealing or uber sexual. A woman putting on yoga gear and doing some yoga while their partner watches can be sexier than lacy lingerie.

Maybe seeing your desk job boyfriend or husband in a leather jacket and tight jeans gets you going. In the end, the sexy outfit comes off but the mood you created remains.

Naughty role playing is great foreplay too

Doctor and nurse, School teacher and student, police officer and crook, there are lots of ways to be creative with each other. Most importantly just remember to have fun and laugh. Silly sex is still great sex!

Do not be afraid to try new things

You will not enjoy everything you try, but trying them together will bring you closer and make you both more comfortable sexually.

Have you considered adding bondage play to your sex life? If you’re a nervous about it we wrote a beginners guide to bondage to help you get started.

Getting Adventurous – Outdoor Sex

The thrill and the danger of getting caught doing it outside will get the blood pumping. You might end up chickening out, but you’ll be so fired up that you’ll be rushing home to finish the deed.

Mission accomplished!

Scout out some areas first

Make sure you are somewhere with a little bit of privacy. The thrill of getting caught is fun, but actually getting caught is not. Nature hikes are an awesome place to get in touch with the great outdoors and each other.

Dress for the occasion

Gym shorts for the guys, and skirts for the girls make for easy access and a quick get aways. Be like sex ninjas, smoke bombs optional.

Katie
Some of my favorite sexual memories have been outdoors. Not because the sex was spectacular, but because it was daring and got my adrenaline pumping. Having sex on a hilltop overlooking the city of Verona, Italy was a moment I will always remember and continue to feed off of to keep our sex life exciting.

Be considerate of where you are

Be clean and respectful; don’t leave your discarded condoms or Kleenex on the floor. Find a garbage or throw it out when you get home. What would Captain Planet do?

Routine is not a bad word

Sex can be exciting, passionate, kinky, wild, or boring. Your sex life will eventually fall into a routine, and that’s fine. Knowing what you like and what you don’t is a good thing.

It’s the creativity within that routine that allows us to turn boring sex into an opportunity to try new and exciting positions, toys, and places.

If you’re finding your sex life a little boring then now is the best time try out our Sexy Couples Challenge and take your sex life to a new and exciting place!

Authored by: Katie & Chris

Chris and Katie are the LoveTripper’s. They have been together for over 9 years, and got married in April 2014. They believe that the key to a healthy long-lasting relationship is constant work and effort. The Love Tripper’s share their advice on how to keep that sexy fire burning, avoiding pointless arguments, and finding a deeper love for your partner every day. Love is a trip, enjoy the ride!

There is 1 comment for this article

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *