I am at the age now where weddings are at an all time high . Friends all around me have married, and I have planned and enjoyed the big day myself. Every single wedding was beautiful in it’s own special way and everyone looked perfect in my eyes. What I did learn though is that behind every beautiful wedding is a bride and groom stressing about everything and noticing all the little details.
The road to me and Chris’s wedding was not a smooth one. We discussed it in our blog post We’re Married Now What? What we did learn from all the bumps along the way was how important just enjoying the moment was. It was a cold and rainy day, the zipper on my dress broke off while I was dancing. Then while driving to our house, with my Father-in-Law, to change into a different dress, our car was side swiped by a couple drunk kids. Needless to say that sounds like a meltdown waiting to happen, but I knew these were all insignificant things compared to the true meaning of the day. I got home, changed my dress, got back to the party and carried on dancing because why waste such a beautiful day feeling upset.
I want to share with you what I have taken away from all the conversations with my friends and all the wisdom I have gained from planning and having an amazing wedding. Leave the stress at home on your big day and be present in moment.
Have a Wedding You Can Afford
Only invite guests that you would want at your wedding even if they showed up without wooden watches for the groomsmen. Don’t rely on your guests gifts to fund your wedding costs. When you think about your guest list in this manner, you will 1. Decrease the number of guests making your wedding less costly 2. Not get upset and ruin a relationship when your favorite uncle doesn’t hand you a toaster. On your wedding day you should be focused on being surrounded by your best friends and closest family members, not on tallying up who got you the biggest gift and how much of your wedding costs have been covered.
Plan Your Wedding Together
I know traditionally the woman is more likely to look through all the magazines and pick the color scheme but I am a big believer in planning your big day together. It definitely depends on your personalities, but when you both partake in choosing the venue and trying out the cakes, the wedding itself will have more meaning and will be something to take pride in. For many couples a wedding can be the first big milestone you organize together and it can help prepare you for buying future homes and planning vacations.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Nothing ever goes perfectly on your wedding day. It rains, the ring bearer is crying in all the pictures, and your pasta dish is cold. None of these small and insignificant events will ruin your beautiful day. However if you get upset, you will be responsible for draping everyone in negativity. No one remembers that it was raining, they remember the smiles on your faces during your first dance.
Add Your Personal Touch
Make your day special by including personal touches to your wedding. Create a theme that represents you both or handmake your thank you gifts. Pinterest can be a great resource for ideas but don’t get overwhelmed. I wanted my wedding to be travel themed so I printed up some vintage postcards and used them as table numbers. It doesn’t have to be complicated to represent you and your partner.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
A thousand dollar wedding can be just as beautiful and spectacular as a million dollar wedding. Do not worry about out doing your cousin or compare your flowers to your best friends. Everyone has different tastes, styles, budgets, and traditions. No wedding is the same and you should take pride in the wedding you have created. If you are surrounded by people who love you, they will love your wedding too.
Spend Money on Meaningful Items
If you are a foody, the meal will be a number one priority at your wedding. If you have always dreamed of a certain dress, then maybe you will splurge a little. Recognize what is important to you and your groom and mold your budget accordingly. Chris and I knew good food was a must but we didn’t really care about flowers so we adjusted accordingly. You won’t always get exactly what you want but if you are able to recognize what is important to you are more likely to be happy with how you spent your money.
Pick Your Wedding Party Wisely
It can be difficult to please everyone when picking your wedding party but what is important is that you are surrounded with people who will support you. Do not freak out if your parties are uneven, photographers know how to work around that and you should both feel happy with your choices. Bridesmaids and Groomsmen are meant to help you get ready, have fun, stay calm, and just be by your side to witness your beautiful day. Make sure you want them in your wedding pictures forever.
Delegate on Your Day
You should not be worrying about how your 95 year old great aunt Lucy is going to be getting from the ceremony to the reception. Before the day of, make sure little but important tasks have been delegating to other people so that your mind isn’t full of anything but love for your new spouse. Sure, don’t turn your Maid of Honour into your wedding planner, but everyone at your wedding should be okay with giving a helping hand and helping you enjoy your day.
Pay Everyone Before or After
While your sister is giving her heartwarming speech you should not be tallying up the bar bill. Organize with the businesses you are working with to arrange payments at appropriate times or give the task of writing cheques to another family member so that your mind isn’t preoccupied. Money should never be the focus of your wedding and most vendors are more than happy to let you enjoy your day as long as they get paid eventually.
Enjoy Every Second with Your Spouse
This is your freaking day! I don’t care how rude it is to not go sit at your second cousins table listening to them talk about how great their wedding was. Sneak off to a quiet place with your new spouse and just take it all in. You’re married now, you’re in love, you’re hotter looking today then you have ever been. When people clink their glasses and tell you to kiss, do it, with a mouthful of steak, just do it and enjoy every second of this beautiful moment. Everyone is here because they love you and they love your relationship, so celebrate!
I can only hope that I helped you and your partner realize how amazing your wedding day can be. Take a deep breath, clear your mind, and enjoy every second of it. You deserve to be happy so allow it to happen.