Sex plays a huge role in every couple’s relationship. At the beginning couples tend to overlook any issues or incompatibilities because they are head over heals in love, but this doesn’t last. Eventually partners need to share their true needs and start putting in more effort to make sex the best it can be. Avoid these 6 sex mistakes in your relationship to ensure your sex life doesn’t go off the rails.
Being aware of the sexual pitfalls that many couples fall into throughout their relationships can put you one step ahead and allow you to become proactive. We want you to have a healthy and active sex life and keep the fire burning for years to come!
Thinking Things Will Never Change
The only thing in life that is certain is change. Everyone evolves, grows, and changes as they get older and have new experiences. Thinking the sex life you and your partner had 6 years ago should be the same will only leave you feeling disappointed and unsatisfied.
It is normal for the amount of sex couples have to decrease the longer they are together. Having a child can affect sensations and change pleasure points, older men can sometimes last longer before cumming. Being able to recognize and adjust to changes in sexual needs will make you both much happier and keep the fire burning.
Making the Sex Mistake of Assuming You Know What They Like
Making assumptions about someone’s sexual preferences is like ordering your blind dates meal at a restaurant. You may think it makes you look good but really they will think you’re a pretentious asshole and decide to leave early to get dessert somewhere else.
Just because your ex was a fan of doggy style does not mean your new partner will be too. Every body is built differently and everyone develops different sexual preferences. Always keeping an open line of communication and asking if your partner is enjoying themselves is a great way to learn about each others bodies. Knowing you are both trying to please each other will keep you coming back for more time and time again.
Thinking Sex is The Same as Porn
If you are someone who thinks romance and action movies are realistic descriptions of real life then this point is for you. Porn is not real life. A penis does not need to be that big, you do not need to scream like a banshee and be in the Cirque de Soleil to pleasure your man.
Porn is a great place to get ideas and get motivated but trying to emulate what they are doing will quickly lead to feeling foolish. Most of the positions in porn are strictly to get good angles and not based on pleasure or comfort. In fact, try following along to porn with your partner to see how silly and uncomfortable it really is. Use porn as inspiration to try new things but do not feel disappointed or at fault if your not orgasming while balancing upside down on a coffee table. Read all about how porn can be good for your relationship to learn more on this touchy subject.
Making Every Time You Have Sex a Big Deal
When sex always feels like a big event it can start to feel exhausting. Just like going the gym every week or going to your in laws for lunch on sundays. Sex can become something you feel you have to do and not something you want to do.
Being able to enjoy a quickie now and again is healthy and allows you and your partner to not feel any pressure to perform. It’s okay to be in the mood to have quick uncomplicated sex. In fact, taking the pressure off of having to spend a whole night romancing each other can start increasing the amount of sex you do have and make those romantic nights more special.
Not Talking About What You Want In Your Sex Life Is A Huge Mistake
Not communicating with your partner can be the greatest mistake you make when it comes to having an enjoyable sex life. It doesn’t matter if you have been together 6 months or 6 years, always letting your partner know what you want and how you feel will make the world of difference. Why is sex everywhere but we can’t talk about it candidly with our partners?
Couples too often stop enjoying sex with each other because they never talk about what could make it better, more fun, or more exciting. Passion can only carry you so far before you start getting frustrated with the lack of connection. Having an open line of communication means you will always be on the same sexual page.
You Have Stopped Putting in Any Effort
When you have been in a relationship for a long time it’s natural for the effort you put into looking good to decrease. You will start to wear a little less makeup, shave less often, and not worry about what you’re wearing. Although this can be a great sign that you and your partner are confident and comfortable with each other, it can also be a huge buzzkill in the bedroom. Stop the this behaviour before it becomes a common mistake in your relationship. Read our article to find out if you have become too comfortable in your relationship.
One of the best ways to keep your sex drive alive is by showing each other that they are still worth the effort you once gave them. Keeping your legs constantly shaved in case you have a random quickie may be going too far, but if you know you have a night alone, do your hair, manscape, and make sure you smell good. You will both appreciate the added effort and your sex life will stay healthy and happy.
Although it would be nice if sex was always a beautiful and natural experience, sometimes we have to do a little extra work to get exactly what we want. Having an open line of communication and sharing your evolving needs is a great way to prevent sex mistakes. Don’t be left feeling unsatisfied in your sex life while your partner remains unaware of a problem. Go forth and be sexy!